people might think i'm a spinster,

but I'm just a neat freak:

3:43 PM

side effects

I have been taking Ciprofloxacin, which is for sick people who also happen to have borderline personality disorders: it will help push you over the edge or make you want to fight to live a normal life in which a nice bearded man shovels snow off your front walk while you, inside and next to a fireplace, sip on a hot totty, use a cushion made of hundred dollar bills to prop up your head and watch fluffy puppies covered in kittens sleep by your feet while reading the new Murakami book.

When I began taking the drug, I was freezing, yet sweating, too tired to blow my nose, coughing constantly, couldn't get enough sleep and felt ready to die. Now that I've been on the antibiotic since Thursday I'm freezing, yet sweating, too tired to blow my nose, coughing constantly, can't get enough sleep, have a horrible stomachache, a splitting headache and I feel dizzy all of the time. 21st century medicine. Hip hip.

I went back to the clinic today and they said the antibiotics aren't working. (They went to medical school.) Having already taken my morning dose*, tonight I'll start a Z-pack, which is stronger or just has a better marketing strategy. Hopefully I can stop sweating, because I'm too tired to be doing all of this laundry.


*Does Ciprofloxacin have any side effects, you ask?

Most common side effect:
Nausea

Less common side effects may include:
Abdominal pain/discomfort, diarrhea, headache, rash, restlessness, vomiting

Rare side effects may include:
Abnormal dread or fear, achiness, bleeding in the stomach and/or intestines, blood clots in the lungs, blurred vision, change in color perception, chills, confusion, constipation, convulsions, coughing up blood, decreased vision, depression, difficulty in swallowing, dizziness, double vision, drowsiness, bad upstairs neighbors, eye pain, fainting, fever, flushing, gas, gout flare up, hallucinations, hearing loss, heart attack, hiccups, high blood pressure, hives, inability to fall or stay asleep, inability to urinate, decreased censorship over words that leave your dry mouth, indigestion, intestinal inflammation, involuntary eye movement, irregular heartbeat, desire to call everyone "Britney Jean Spears," irritability, itching, joint or back pain, joint stiffness, kidney failure, labored breathing, lack of muscle coordination, lack or loss of appetite, large volumes of urine, light-headedness, loss of sense of identity, loss of sense of smell, mouth sores, neck pain, nightmares, nosebleed, pounding heartbeat, ringing in the ears, seizures, sensitivity to light, severe allergic reaction, skin peeling, redness, sluggishness, speech difficulties, swelling of the face, neck, lips, eyes, or hands, swelling of the throat, sense of loss over housing market in Vegas, tender, red bumps on skin, tingling sensation, tremors, unpleasant taste, unusual darkening of the skin, vaginal inflammation, vague feeling of illness, weakness, yellowed eyes and skin, lost ability to cope with full time job.

1:24 PM

delay of game

Walking to to my car that night, the fire felt closer:



And maybe it was the ash that set off this whole spiral of death. I am sick. SO SICK. I haven't felt like this in God knows how long, because I don't typically get really sick. Sure, I've had colds, a runny nose, headaches, coughs, sinus infections and the like, but I've never had all of that AT ONCE, along with an aching body- that gets winded walking to the washroom- and this very sexy sweating thing.

I finally got out of bed today so that someone might give me some drugs to MAKE THIS STOP. I went through my medicine cabinet only to find that the freshest batch of drugs had expired in 2007. 2007 means I actually packed and moved all of those drugs. Twice. There was some DayQuil that expired in 2003, so that had moved no less than 3 times. At the clinic, it turns out that I have a high fever (yeah, I got that from the sweating) and some other stuff that sounded bad. I stopped listening, because my head is so plugged up and I was so tired from dragging myself in there that all I was waiting for was the white piece of paper that would get me DRUGS. The nurse lectured me for not owning a thermometer, but do people really own those? People without kids, I mean. If I'm sick and I'm sweating, I gather that I have a fever. Why do I need to know the exact number? Oh, death prevention and such, yeah, but whatever. I can't believe I am typing. So tired. Feel like Gumby.

I'm going back to bed, even if I can't sleep, because I can't breathe, because I can't stop coughing.

1:04 PM

it's that time of year

Out by the Ortega.

3:06 PM

healthy lifestyle and i are on a break

Had a piece of chocolate cake for lunch. I don't really like chocolate, so I ate a lemon square to cleanse my palate. Hating yourself is quite fun.

3:20 PM

there are no small entries...

11:24 AM

research body parts, 1.5

I have pictures to post, but haven't had the time. I don't mean to ruin the suspense, SPOILER ALERT, but you can still see the cut/scar. I knew there was a reason I hadn't seen the stuff on Oprah, even if the girls are saying I need to give it more time. Isn't it presumptuous to assume I have that much more time to give?

P.S. If I don't write anything for five months straight, you'll know I'm dead (and not just a guy named John).

4:46 PM