fluffy 2-d bunny sticker on the atm

Do you know what this says to me?



It's OK- I'm Asian!

I mean, which is more Asian? Placing the sticker or taking a picture of the sticker?

Yay!

6:20 PM

social networking sites

I'm not a big fan, because I can't say what I really want without worrying that I'll offend someone I really know. Like, know in person. As in, they can come and actually slap me across the cheek or speak to me in a sharp tone while squinting and shaking their head out of pure disgust.

I get enough of that already.

So, Hardly-Facebook and Not-Really-Twitter... regarding my relationship status? I'm in a relationship with God (insert link to God's facebook page here). No, just kidding. I'm single.

Ho, hum.

12:18 PM

i get it

But don't you think any town in the northeast would cover weather, using such terms as "epic," if it were 80° on January 5th with 5'-7' swells and a light offshore breeze?

And? AND? Driving to work, I see the same woman every morning. Sometimes I see her walking up the hill and sometimes I see her at the top of the hill, but I see her everyday. She likes to wear a big, floppy hat and black sunglasses that make it seem as if she just had a cataract removed. Her tiny sweatsuit outfits swim around her tinier body and she appears to have enjoyed 90 some years of sun-filled activities. I realized, a few weeks ago, that I hadn't seen her in months. Like maybe six months. Why would a 90-something-year-old woman hide out for six months?

1. Broken hip

2. Broken Leg

3. Stroke

4. Dementia

5. Death

Today, in the freezing rain, I saw her walking up the hill. I'm glad she's not dead, even if she might be suffering from #4; walking in the pouring rain, winds howling, no umbrella and wearing a baby blue track suit. But she's alive. (!)

P.S. Everyday there are more and more trees that appear to be ever so tired of this life. It feels like a tree cemetery up in here (up in here).

2:35 PM

pacific storm

Crazy, driving, sideways rain, accompanied by 45-95 mph winds ✓

(Side note: the storms last for 2-4 hours and then the sun comes out, like, "What? What are you talking about? Rain?")

Tornados spotted in SB, HB and NB ✓

Bad hair ✓

Flooded streets (as well as my garage) ✓

Mudslides and downed trees ✓

New channels reporting that the storm we should get in about an hour is going to be worse than anything we've seen in the last two days ✓

Taking this site to a new low by only talking about weather and cats ✓

11:55 AM

but what was she wearing?

5:29 PM

earthquake virgin

The Kitten experienced his first two earthquakes this week. The Cat could see them coming and would let you know they were on the way, but they blindside Al-Ḥalīm Netanyahu. He ran under the bed for his first and jumped on my face around 4am to let me know about the second. I wouldn't have minded so much, had his wonky thumb nail not taken out my eyeball. I'll be hiding out in the house today so that I don't have to explain my swollen eye and how it only means that he really loves me and that it was probably my fault, anyhow.

11:24 AM

racist

Why doesn't my oven want to cooperate when I try to cook, but always works well if a white man comes over and uses it?

1:40 PM

just now able to talk about it without breaking down

Get out!

AS OF JANUARY 1ST AT 11:59AM, THIS EVENT IS SOLD OUT!

This event is completely sold out and the race office is not accepting any further entries. Please register for another event ASAP!

I was on top of my game, checking to see when the mud run registration would go live. I sent a text to my running partner on New Year's Eve Day, the first day it opened, and reminded him to register. (I make it a policy not to register and then remind others- that ends up with me running by myself because they missed the deadline or the race sold out. Aaaand back to the story.) We talked about this a week or so prior, knowing the race usually sells out in two weeks. Due to my RP's COMPLETE lack of attention to his cell phone, WE MISSED OUT ON THE MUD RUN! All three days sold out on January 1st. Seriously? It was only active FOR ONE DAY.

I decided to call RP's home phone, as he's the only person on the planet you're more likely to reach on that line than on his cell. He thought I was joking, but the shrieking and veiled death threats were honest and true. We ended up registering for the step-child of the mud run, the YMCA mud run. It's usually held in October and, other than that, I don't know what the difference is supposed to be. It's the same course, only your money is going to Christian soldiers? It's in June, so it shouldn't be cold, although the mud might be kind of rank after 12,000 people have trudged through it while leaving behind traces of their molecular ancestry.

Ugh. I still can't believe I missed it.

5:13 PM

noticeable changes in 2010

I consistently pick products with the verbiage "renewing," "age defying" or "rejuvenating" when purchasing any type of lotion, facial gobbledygook, toothpaste or deodorant.

3:52 PM

i'm not a movie theater lover

I finally saw Revolutionary Road last night and I can't get the image of Kate Winslet's Frodo feet out of my head.

I'm really trying, but they're still there... big as ever.

Yep. Still there.

11:27 AM