decisions

Yet another year goes by in which absorbing my twin has not paid off.

11:38 AM

it can't be x-mas soon enough

2:18 PM

movie americans never learn from the past

It's a very busy workday. I just watched Avatar and have only one thing to say; Americans are hypocrites. It's a horrendous crime when a more advanced species comes to our planet with one goal: getting us out of the way, so that they may drain our resources. When we do it to others, they're blue monkeys who don't understand.

Somewhere in Studio City, Bill Pullman is rolling over on his futon.

12:52 PM

don't judge

I can't get my head around which is worse: me not leaving the house tonight because I have a pimple, having a pimple or admitting I watched The Real Housewives of Orange County.

I also ate a vegan "sausage."

P.S. Yes, I am ashamed.

P.P.S. I won't tell you which bothers me more...

11:41 PM

return to the natural order

I bought some food at Centinela and they threw in a free toy. All of the toys I've ever purchased for The Kitten have kept him entertained for exactly .25 seconds. The monkey, my most successful purchase to date, was only his favorite after it fell apart. Once the "monkey paws" were divorced from the torso, it was the best toy ever. My neighbor actually asked, "Why are you always asking where the monkey paw is?" (I need to remember to close my doors so that I don't sound like a crazy person and I'm working on that.) The problem is that monkey paws, in general, are small and easy to lose. I'm sure that when they're cleaning out my place, in the event of my unplanned death, they will wonder what I was doing with monkey paws hidden in the strangest of places.

The Kitten carries his new favorite toy around in his mouth as if it's a dead mouse. He flings it up in the air, jumps over it, bats it to the ground, throws it out of the room and then becomes disgruntled that the sheep has THE NERVE to try to get away. This morning, I awoke to him violently shaking the sheep, sandwiched between his teeth, stuffing starting to ooze from its back, but still with a smile on its face.



Let me just say that I was very dedicated to the idea of a sheep picture; so much so that it took me ten minutes to get it done. (Don't be sad for me. I'm OK, I promise.) Every time I would set the sheep down on the floor, it would be swooped away by a blurry cat shadow before I could finish:



After many attempts and one idea to lock one kitten in one washroom (even if that didn't happen because of human laziness), I was able to get a clean shot. And before I could even stand up? The sheep was back in the hands of its evil master.


face cropped to save him from internet embarrassment

2:34 PM

valentine's day gift ideas

If you're trying to convey how much you enjoy their sexiness:




Or, if you're shopping for the person who has everything:

1:49 PM

dnr? what do you mean, dnr?

Yeah, I guess they're expensive, because all of the trees that snapped like twigs are being propped up like dummies.

7:05 PM

i have no excuse for this

Imagine, instead of a slope, this is my house and, instead of poles, they are my plants. Substitute skis with anything made of paper and your vision is complete.

11:27 AM

what a pain in the ass

Blogger decided to stop supporting FTP publishing, which means I have to spend time figuring out what I'm going to do next. I don't want to spend any time on this, so we'll see how it goes. I do have until March (or February?), so I should be able to squeeze in two entries before then.

5:16 PM